What is something you want to "get off your chest"?
Last Updated: 29.06.2025 12:30
But I just wanna disappear and not exist. I don’t like this world. I like my life but not how I live or how this world functions
I never returned a call. I never called first. I did answer some calls but it was short and whenever I went to her house (this all started to happen after I was maybe 11 between 13) I just stayed in my room and barley hung out with her
.dont tell me to get help, I’m fully aware that I need it.
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I can’t even think about actually eating other stuff
I can’t even do the simplest things like washing my own dish or picking up the dogs poop and I make such a big deal about it every single fucking time
I hate it
And this voice and body, I hate it. I sound like a little girl and I look like a kid. I don’t want to be a girl
and I wasn’t raised like how I should’ve. I’m whitewashed and I get made fun of it
Like I wanna fly and be an animal tbh
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When I was younger (prob around 9-10h I got so mad that I thought of throwing max against the dresser really hard
I’m 15 btw idk if anyone will ever read this or maybe myself when im older
I grabbed him and was about to do it but I stopped because I didn’t want to hurt him
I never saw them cry and it hurt to see my dad especially cause he rarely does
I hate seeing my dad my brother and siblings cry
I think it’s my depression but idk maybe it’s me cause I’d never want to call anyone incuinf her
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Idk tbh
I can’t anymore I just hate it
I miss her so much and I feel so much guilt . I was close with her
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“your mom” that rlly hurts though when she say it
I just feel so bad. My sister never got one cause at the time they were poor (I wasn’t alive then) and I’m spoiled now and I can do things she couldn’t when she was younger
I also look at people dying and being abused like gore shit
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My grandmothers death isn’t helping either
and I’m such a picky eater
I wouldn’t have done it if I knew
Likes we’re not siblings
My heart hurts so much it feels like it’s being squeezed and thrown around
He also has anger isssues I think. One time he got so mad that he threw a plate at the wall and it broke
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I hate her she’s so annoying and always touching and hitting me but I don’t know why I put up with it
He cried and I let go but I still pulled him out to kick him out
I made a new friend though and I’m happy about that
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I eat the same thing every other day . Pasta, macaroni, fries, beans (or sometimes eggs) with tortillas, and sometimes cheese bread from little Cesar’s. Its the same fucking thing every day
My arm rlly hurts rn cause I just scratched it to the bone
I never did that and I feel so guilt and bad after but I just did it again
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I can’t stop crying I feel so weird and I know I am
I’m afraid that whatever this is, my anger issues and depression, is gonna cause me to hurt someone I love in the future
Max was under there too so I tried getting him out and he growled and I hit him again and again each time
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I’d go the the movies with her sometimes and watch movies on tv with her and sit in the living room with her but that’s just about it
I think my mom favors me and that makes my sister have some kind of hidden dislike for me but I know she loves me
I just pulled frosty out under my bed by his arm even though I knew it would hurt
I told her to give it to me or my teacher or anyone she saw she knew that I KNEW in my part of the school and she gave it to some fucking stranger and I don’t know where it is now
I think I’m scared to lose another friend
I masturbate every once a while to porn and I hate it but it feels good and every time after I do it I feel disgusting and horrible
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Sometimes it’s funny but I’m just so tired of feeling out of place with everyone
Just wanted to put it out there
I don’t want that and I don’t know how to get rid of it but I’m scared to get help like what do I even say to them? That I hit and abused my dog and have the urge to hit and throw things and scream like I’m some abuser?
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I just feel so guilty about everything I do. I’m weird and I hate it and I don’t like myself
And my fucking phone wouldn’t let me know when she would call and when she would leave voice mails saying to call her back when I can and that she loves me
I want to but I can’t
My body my voice, especially my voice
It’s been a long time and I can’t handle it anymore
I can’t get rid of it. I wanna peel my skin off and hide away. I felt so exposed at school without my sweater
They’re both small dogs
I genuinely don’t know what to think of myself anymore
My room is a mess it’s like a hoarders house. I’m not even exaggerating. There’s clothes and random shit all over and I can’t even see the floor and I still keep bringing stuff in
I want to kill myself but I know I can’t. I have a quince coming up and my mom and dad would have wasted ten thousand on it . I wish I knew how much it’d cost
And she ate half of the popcorn
I gave it to my friend so she can sneak in popcorn for me, that I gave her money to buy for me since they wouldn’t let me
I think
About all my friends
I want to be a boy
I think if I had children, I’d abuse them when I’m mad. That’s why I don’t want children. I don’t want to hurt them but these urges to just hit and throw and break stuff is so strong to the point I have to harm myself to get rid of it
There’s been times I’ve done it to drawn feral porn and I hate it so much. Why do I like to put these bad things that I find so disgusting and hate it so much on myself as if I’m one of them
I hate myself so much
this is a rant/vent and not worth reading. Major tws here for a bunch of shit